Narcissism.
Narcissus, in Greek mythology, fell in love with his own reflection.
Narcissism, in real life, is more rampant than we think.
In fact, a couple of years back, my research became uncomfortable for me at times. My own areas of woundedness and humanity began to be revealed to me.
I fell out of love with my reflection. It was a wonderful, bountiful dealing for my soul.
I remember once, being in a room with several women. There were items displayed on a table, and we were all looking. I noticed that a few of us were blocking another woman's line of sight. I murmured, "Let me get out of your way."
Someone else, I am not sure who, said, "Oops. My artistic side is showing. I am always
in my own world."
I remember my instant, inner, very quiet reaction. Without turning to see who spoke, I remember disagreeing, in that moment. And I still disagree. When I am being truly artistic, I am very aware of details and nuance. Far from being oblivious to subtleties, I am actually tuned into the smallest of lines and shadows.
So you might be a narcissist if:
~You lack a true awareness of others.
~If you are always feeling left out, or like you don't belong.
~if you experience being offended more than once or twice a year
~You manage to turn the conversation to yourself. Even someone else's prayer request can turn into your own bid for attention.
~If anyone in your life is made to feel as if they are not "enough" - cannot do enough, care enough, give enough...
~You genuinely believe you are "different" or "special". (This is where Christians can be the most guilty of veiled narcissism - God is no...no....no respecter of persons.)
~You are an over-spender, or overly aware of the spending of others
~You are generous (yes! Many narcissists are givers...for the relational leverage, for the boost in self esteem, for an excuse to buy themselves what they want)
~If you routinely find fault in others
~Collect a large number of friends on Facebook.
~avoid Facebook entirely, denigrating it as not worth your time (!!). Healthy people are characterized by having no extremes.
~are hyper-spiritual about peripheral issues (God says this and that to you, always aboutyou), but you are easily offended, and lack true depth where it counts
~if you personalize almost everything
~if you pay undue attention to compliments
~if you take criticism personally
~if you are easily angered
~if you are jealous, always competing and comparing
~if you manipulate or punish with your emotions
~over-use of sarcasm
~if you gravitate to leadership positions (yep....many narcissists are leaders, but not all leaders are narcissists - or at least they are aware of the tendency and guard against it)
~if you have soft personal boundaries, becoming enmeshed in others drama
~if your own life generates drama, you are definitely a narcissist
For a very brief overview, go here
Or here
To be better equipped to battle narcissism in yourself, or set strong boundaries for more healthy relationships with the narcissists in your life, you can go deeper here
Grace and Peace,
Sheila Atchley
All blog content is the property of the writer, including all "In the Middle" intellectual and visual art property...
