Monday, August 3, 2015

In Which I Interview Myself About Everything You Never Wanted to Know {...a repost from the archives, slightly updated...}


I'm pulling a post from the archives this week - this was written back in about 2010, before I'd ever been interviewed by anyone.  Interestingly (to no one but me), I've actually been interviewed several times this year...and the process is always fun.  Welcome to my first "interview"...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm having an egocentric day, perhaps.  I'm in the mood to tell you....things.  About me.  Some of which I seriously wonder if I've ever told anyone but Tim or my closest home-girls, and maybe not even them.  So if you are as interested in my story as I am in your stories (and I truly am - 99% of the time, when you are physically with me at lunch or dinner or whatever, the conversation will be about you, and I'd be asking you all sorts of stuff)

...then just keep on reading, because you are about to be amused.

Or deeply concerned.

Where to start?

1.  I was a bed-wetter until the age of 13.  It was pure, unmitigated awfulness.  I had all the traits of a  disturbed child.  I heard "voices" in my head, had thoughts of suicide (only thoughts!) anger issues, the whole bit.  And bedwetting.

What changed?  I lie not...it was the active grace of God in my life, and the charismatic renewal in the 70's.   My parents left a somber, dead denominational church (and I do realize denominations are not all dead...and even "not at all" dead) for a charismatic church, where I began to be bathed in the presence of God every Sunday. 

I did have several supernatural spiritual experiences as a child - for example, I remember receiving ministry one evening, being overwhelmed by a sense of pure love and power, and that was the end of the voices in my head.....forever.  Literally, the night before, I had heard them, and that night I slept in quiet peace, and not one time, ever again, have I been tormented like that.  No voices.

Unless I'm just messin' with ya.  I joke about hearing voices now.

2.  I taught the Bible for the first time when I was 17 - to about three hundred people in my church, and even gave an altar call.  The altar was full.

3.  I was married at only twenty years old, and gave birth to identical twin girls nine months (and twenty minutes) later.  Honeymoon twins.

4.  I was ugly in middle school.  I'm talking u-g-l-y.  I had no self confidence whatsoever.  I was homely and I knew it.  Then, something happened, and I entered a beauty pageant at age 17 (the Junior Miss Pageant) and almost won.  I came in third - each of us girls in the top three were within tenths of a point of one another, in the closest competition to date at the time.  So I really did almost win.

And - of all things - I scored the best...out of every single contestant....in (are you ready for this?)  not grade point average.  Not my interview, though it went well.  Not in physical fitness - my dance was a fiasco.  I took top score in...

poise and appearance.  Apparently God really does make all things beautiful in His time.

Don't hate on me.  In that season of my life, I needed that.  Honestly, I've never been all that proud of that little fact about myself, and I'm not stunningly attractive today - but I'm not above wanting to be.

5.  I was president of the Knoxville chapter of Teenage Women's Aglow in the 80's.  (Anyone remember "Women's Aglow"?  It was the age of Christian women in power suits, silk scarves, and big earrings.)

6.  At one point in my walk with God, I wore a headcovering.  Only for a couple of months - until my then-pastor took me to task, a little known fact for which I thank him to this day.  No disrespect to those women who do wear head coverings, but today the very thought makes me cringe.  I am forever grateful to God for an Enlightening Grace that pulled me out of the clutches of legalism.  It was and still is a process.

7.  My husband bites his nails, and that irks me.  Oh wait...that isn't about me, is it?  I think it sort of is, because that one thing is the Great Secret Irk of my life.  He's doing it right now.

8.  I love him in every other way.  He's adorable and selfless and definitely cute in a baseball hat.

9.  I'm loyal as a hound dog.  Friends are friends forever in my world - you have to treat me and my husband with a lot of disrespect before I'd even think about kicking you to the curb.  Even then, I wouldn't.

10.  I'm a lot of things - I swear sometimes, am known for too much sarcasm (its a gift) and I feel more deeply and pray more than most people will ever realize.  But for some reason, I've never been a jealous woman.  Your success is mine.  I want you to be as blessed as possible - no strings attached.

11.  I'm a freakish combination of a Sophia Loren wanna-be, and Mother Teresa.  I think deeply, love God radically, read real-books like some women sit in front of Facebook (all day, every day) but refuse to live without high heels, red lipstick, and the occasional glass of wine.

That's all for now.  Whatever.  I'm so glad we had this little talk.  I'm going to hit "publish" before my better judgement takes over...

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Wear Your Praise Wednesday {...tender thoughts on beauty...and a peek into a fall launch design...}

To read my other "Wear Your Praise Wednesdays", click here here, and here

This post is for anyone who wonders why "wearing your praise" matters.  This post is for those who, like me, have searched for the line between healthy self care and vanity.

I find it increasingly hard to label myself, theologically.  (I promise, this has everything to do with fashion and beauty - at least in my life, theology informs just about everything.)  I'm not Presbyterian.  I'm not Charismatic, in the strictest sense.  I'm not Baptist.

I'm not a fundamentalist.  Though we did homeschool, I refused to wear long skirts and tennis shoes together.  I wore a little extra makeup and cute shorts (on purpose) to all the home schooling summer curriculum fairs, and thus scandalized 80% of the crowd.  Good times.

I'm not a hedonist.  I'm not a stoic, unless it comes to my negative emotions.  I have come to believe that the stark opposite to "wearing your feelings on your sleeve" is good, old fashioned Biblical meekness.  Meekness is any strong emotion - under control.  My feelings are invited to the party - but they are not allowed to plan it.

I wasn't always meek, and I'm still not, on days.  But now I really am chasing rabbits.

Suffice it to say that at one time, when I was a girl, I wanted nothing more than to feel pretty...to be pretty...and some told me that that was a sin.



Is it any wonder that I am working my way, 12 hour days at a time, into making a living from beauty?  I was meant to be an artist.  I have craved beauty and order since I was a child.

When I was a 20-year-old one-income, poverty-level newlywed with honeymoon twins, I remember spending the meager amount set aside for our tithe, to buy just one new outfit from JCPenny.  There I was, all grown up and married with children, and my hunger to feel pretty was still clashing with my theology.

My theology won, and I have no regrets - giving, even from your own lack today, is a key to prosperity in the future.

Throughout my kids' growing up years,  I resorted to mostly (amazing, miraculous) hand-me-downs from clothing shop owners and friends, supplemented with thrift store scores.  And I did all sorts of silly (and wise) things to stay as fit and healthy as I knew how.  I just wanted to like the woman I saw in the mirror...and looking back, I know that I was far too hard on myself.


Fast forward to the years when my children (now grown) were teenagers and young, single twenty-somethings.

Is it just me, or does anyone else understand the stage your nearly-grown kids go through, when they begin to question everything they were taught, the way they were taught it, and all your mis-deeds are remembered, either in vivid detail, or sometimes even embellished beyond recognition?

We were there.

And someone did something for me, that even she didn't know the profound affect it would have, especially in my relationship with my daughters.

At a church event one day, this young woman was chatting with my daughters as I was off somewhere else across the room.  She looked at me, and said to my girls, "Your momma has the cutest backside of anyone I ever saw in my life.  She is so beautiful for her age.  I want so badly to be like her as I grow older."

It sounds so silly and so vain, and I didn't find out about the remark until much later.

But do you know what that did?  It gave me fresh - and at the time, much needed - credibility with my daughters, at a very crucial stage in their development.  I realize that seems like a stretch.  And there were a lot of other factors involved.  However, trust me when I tell you that that really was a turning point for them...for me...for us.

And here is where I bring this home - sorry it has taken me so long, but the "back story" matters, in this case.  (No pun intended.)

Throughout history, a beautiful woman has been a sort of gate-keeper.  It perhaps shouldn't be so, but it is.  Beauty opens doors, it brings credibility even when credibility is unearned and undeserved.  Young women especially will listen to another woman who embodies the kind of pretty they seek to be.  They will take her word as near-gospel.  Many of us middle-agers still (almost) believe that beauty equals wisdom, hence our great love for "beauty secrets". Pretty certainly equals power, whether we like that or we don't.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a teenaged girl and casually mention to her how gorgeous you think her momma is....when her momma is nowhere around to hear it.  Be specific about it.  Apparently, my backside is special.  Not sure how I feel about that, but there it is.

Affirm the other woman's beauty - to her daughter.

You may never know it, but you just might change a life doing something as silly as that.

And that, gentle reader, is why I still care about how I look.  Because pretty equals power, I want all I can reasonably get short of idolatry or plastic surgery.  (...aren't those two things the same?  I digress...)

Why do I still pursue age-appropriate pretty?

So I can influence the next generation.  There are too many other women, far more beautiful than me, who are using their influence to degrade the very fabric of society.  Us Jesus loving girls have to take what beauty God has given us (and we all have some) and cherish it, respect it, and use it for His glory...not as "the end", but as a means to an end - a mere tool that we can use to take back a whole generation.

You and me?  We aren't just another pretty face.  There's theology - sound theology - lurking behind our mascara'd eyes.





And all these seemingly random pictures of my stumpy (so not pretty) hands are just peeks into a new-ish design.  I will be expanding my leather stack ring set to include gold-tone (yeay!) - since gold tone is all the rage for the foreseeable future.  (So glad I didn't change my wedding rings to white gold or platinum...everything old is new again, except for my laugh lines.)

I've made a new friend in recent months...and boy-howdy is she ever a gate keeper.  (read:  that means she's gorgeous).  She's also a grandmother...because really, why would you get your advice from anyone under 40?  And if she's over 40 and loves Jesus, and is pretty, and a grandmother?

Run, don't walk, run to her and sit at her feet and ask her stuff.

Her name is Honey Holden - fellow preacher's wife and taker-back of a generation and practitioner of pretty.  I think you'll love her.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

You're Always "Just You" - Until You're Not {...how I became a jewelry designer to a rock star...}

"Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them..."  ~Romans 12
"Do you see a (wo)man skilled in (her) work?
(She) will stand before kings;
(She) will not stand before obscure men."  ~Proverbs 22

"Giving a gift can open doors; it gives access to important people!"  ~Proverbs 18

For months, now, this little shred of snatched, torn paper has been taped beside my bathroom mirror:




I taped it there, because it is just one way I challenge myself to use the gifts God has given me.  A gift is not a gift until it is given - and you always have to start right where you are in the giving.

God has gifted me to encourage, exhort, and "prophesy" destiny into the hearts of people - and just one vehicle I employ to use that gift, is through my art and jewelry designs.

Pour yourself a cup of whatever blows your dress up, because I have quite a story to tell you.

I really am a jewelry designer to a rock star...and not just any rock star...the biggest rock star alive today.

And that all began with two other women who chose to use their gifts.

The first woman is my friend (truly, my friend)  Jeanne Oliver.


She could have, at one time, decided her gifts weren't "enough".  She could have sat on her talents...because she started out like anyone else.  No one begins at the end...we all begin at the beginning.

But Jeanne began by making stuff.  At first (by her own account) she sometimes made stuff badly.  However, as time went by (and it always will) she discovered she had a gift.  And she believed it was given to her by God.

Today, she has created one of the most thriving, lovely online (and "in real life") creative communities you can find.

I discovered Jeanne and her gifts about 4 years ago, and I am so grateful to her for using them.  It was in the safety of her (then small) online creative community that I took my first online art lessons...then jewelry making classes...

...I painted my first paintings to raise money to send some teenagers on a mission trip.  I made my first jewelry designs for my own daughters.  Then, I made jewelry for my friends.

I am sure some people wondered why I even bothered.

After all...you are always "just you"....until you're not.

Any artist is "just ordinary"...until they're not.  (Hint:  support the artists that speak to your soul...they may be struggling today...and they will be struggling for recognition...until they're not.)

So, in using my gifts to bless those in my immediate sphere,  I exploded.  I exploded, artistically, and even spiritually.  Did I ever explode.  The explosion was God's doing.  I was an explosion waiting to happen - as most women in mid-life are!  But I will always be grateful to Jeanne for playing her part in what was my creative "Becoming".

The other friend I want to tell you about is a new friend.  Her name is Amy Crews



And she is, hands down, the best "natural realism" artist I have ever seen.  Do check out her oil paintings of flowers, bird's nests, eggs...and more.  The detail, and near photo-realism she gives to her subjects will leave you breathless, if you are at all a lover of great art.

Amy has, obviously, used her gifts for a very long time.  She has worked very hard for many years, and Amy didn't quit.  But she is just like anyone else in the sense that she began at the beginning.

Yet she kept going.  And she got really, really skilled at what she does.

And this is where it gets good, because she and I met through Jeanne Oliver's FREE online class entitled "Becoming || The Unfolding of You", where I was a featured presenter.

See the ripple effect?  See the pollination, and cross-pollination of dreams that can happen when women stop competing and comparing, and start celebrating one another?

A few months ago, Amy asked me to participate with her...to collaborate...first on one jewelry design (still available - but they are a limited edition, and more than half gone, so hurry!)

...and then she got the wild idea to take one of her iris paintings and create a necklace for Bono.

As in the Bono.  Of U2.

Only the biggest rock star alive today...for reals.

And I said, "Why not?"

Because I'm weird like that.  I am Charisbyterian, see, and I kind of live in this atmosphere of heaven...where anything is possible, and God really...like, really does speak to me, sometimes.  Is that weird?  It shouldn't be.  Hearing the voice of God is a believer's birthright.  It is the normal Christian life.

And when Amy asked me what I thought, God said to my heart, "Do it."

So we did.  We didn't have time to second-guess ourselves, or over-think it, or get all twisted up about it.  I had to bust out my best design in a matter of days, using Amy's beautiful painting of an iris.

Here is the result:







I realize the picture gets a little strange, right where you see my box with my business logo on it...but in case you wonder if it was doctored - which it definitely was not - here you go:



I took Amy's iris painting, and resized it, digitally, and designed an entire necklace around it.  I mailed it to Amy, just Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, and she took it and flew to NYC where she had tickets to see Bono and U2 in concert.

And God totally rocked both our socks off, and opened the door for her to personally deliver our collaboration to Bono himself.


And he removed his hat...and put on Amy's painting, and my jewelry design...




And that's what can happen when women dream big, work hard, use their gifts, and collaborate.




In terms of social currency, it could not have been any bigger or better had President Obama put on one of my designs, or hung an Amy Crews original in the Oval Office.  People care more about what Bono wears or what Bono likes!

And yes...this design will be available for anyone who needs to be reminded to use their gifts.  So stay tuned.

To hear Amy Crews tell the whole story from her perspective, click here.  You'll hear lots of details I purposefully have left out, because I'd love for you to hear them from her.

In case I haven't been clear, please allow me to end this story with the same Scripture I began it with:

"Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them..."






Start today.  Start in your immediate sphere.  Go use your unique gift to love someone.  You never know where it may lead!


(I'm pretty sure I'm still "just me"...but it is fun to imagine I'm not.)

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Sandbag House in Haiti {...Bethanie Missions of Haiti...}

I'm proud of my Preacher tonight.

Over the past few months, he has helped to spearhead a collaboration with Youth With a Mission and Bethanie Missions of Haiti (where he serves as President) to get a sandbag house built for one of Bethanie Missions pastors in Coteaux, Haiti.

We got word yesterday that the project is actually ahead of schedule and going very well.






My preacher and I, along with Bethanie Missions, hope to partner with YWAM to build many more of this kind of inexpensive, sustainable housing in Haiti.  (When it is finished, you do not see the sandbags...this is a home that any Haitian would be proud to live in, when it is complete.)

If you would like to come alongside us in this endeavor, please click here

Note:  neither my preacher (Tim Atchley) or I, nor any member of the board receives any gifts or salary for our efforts.  Every penny you contribute goes directly to this ministry on the ground in Haiti.  Thanks!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Wear Your Praise Wednesday {...the lace slip extender, 3 ways...}

Welcome to the third installment in my new series, "Wear Your Praise Wednesday".  

{For an explanation of how it was that wearing cute clothes became a tool for me, in healing from clinical depression...to learn why I "Wear My Praise", you  can click here for the very first "Wear Your Praise Wednesday" - or here for the second installment.}



This blog post will seem counter intuitive to those girls who have, all their lives, felt a sense of shame if their slip happened to show.  But I am here with a liberating word:

Those days are gone!

It is now hereby cool and awesome to let your slip show.  If it is a pretty slip.  To be very, very precise - it is now hereby cool and awesome to let your slip show if it is trimmed in the most beautiful lace or tulle imaginable.

Why is this?  I've been telling you and telling you:  layers are our friends.  That pretty peek of lace just adds another layer to your look.

And, in my opinion, that petticoat also serves a practical purpose...it serves to lengthen an otherwise too-short hem.

Is it me, or have you also noticed that some girls (and women) just did not get the memo that if you wonder if a garment is a short dress or a long top...

it's a shirt.  Girlfriend - trust me on this.  If you have to wonder....it's a shirt.

Suffice it to say, as edgy as I am in most of my life choices, I simply can't wear a dress I can't worship in safely.

Please tell me you can relate.  I can't be the only Charisbyterian in the crowd, whose wardrobe choices revolve around whether she can lift a grand baby onto her hip while keeping one arm high in the air, or jump up and down, or do a hitch-kick, or drop to her knees in worship.

Or maybe that's just me.  And just kidding about the hitch-kick.  But the rest is the gospel truth.

For those reasons plus a few more, if a dress is more than an inch or so above my kneecap, I tend to feel twitchy.

It might be hemline semantics, but when I put a petticoat under it, that extra inch or so of layer puts my mind at a little more ease.  Visually, I feel I look more like I am comfortable with my age, and less like I'm trying too hard.  Mini skirts and short dresses belong to the under-30 crowd, not the pushing 50 crowd.




I was asked to share sources.
The shoes were $8.59 clearance at The Shoe Show {don't hate}
dress:  Marshalls, this year
necklace:  my design 
the slip:  a Target slip that I sewed lace onto

This little linen dress is one of my favorites, simply because on a hot summer day, it literally floats on me - it breathes and is so airy and comfortable.


This is another dress I absolutely adore, but can't wear without a little hemline semantics.  I have to have my petticoat/slip extender on, both for the look of the layer (in my mind, no outfit is complete without at least two layers) and for the false comfort it gives me in bringing the length of this dress down, visually, to just above the kneecap.



sources:
shoes:  Shoe Show, clearance
dress:  Jeanne Oliver
bifocal readers:  readers.com
slip:  plain Target slip, embellished with lace by yours truly

For our last look, the "petticoat" goes up-top and casual....



On any given day, I am never without my bifocal readers, so here is how I actually wear this top:




sources:

shoes:  Shoe Show, clearance
jeans:  "modern straight cropped stretch jean" by Denizen at Target
top:  Target
military-style cropped jacket:  "Lucky Brand Clothing" - Marshalls

Now.  Lest you think that "slip extender" is some silly term made up by yours truly, allow me to share with you a young woman who created a major online business around this very concept...

Meet "Grace and Lace".  I discovered them years ago, and instantly fell in love, back when all they had to offer was a few socks and slips.  Since then, they have appeared on the hit show "Shark Tank", and have grown their business beyond their dreams, I am sure.

It is a new day for the petticoat, and I am glad.  Looking back, I remember one of my dearest friends, who happens to be an elderly lady, came up to me in church with what I could see was an urgent message.  She pulled me aside, and whispered, "It.  is.  snowing.  down.  south."

Which was code for, "Your slip is showing.  Get your act together."

I smiled and explained to her that it was supposed to show.

She shook her head in disbelief as she walked away.  I was 40-something years old, but on that day I felt like an edgy young whippersnapper.




Friday, July 3, 2015

50% Off All UNFRAMED Prints - a Once a Year Sale

Every July 4th, I love to run a half-off sale on every unframed print in my shop.  This is the only time of year I do this, so get in on this sale quickly, as it will go away on July 6th.

I  have been hard at work adding new prints to the shop, in order to give  my friends and clients a wide assortment to choose from, such as:


"She Chose to Believe"



Or...

      "Possibility"

Or....



                     "Stand in the Rain of Your Blessings..."

Or...


               
   "Double Portion"




Or...

"Wings To Fly - Soul Sisters"

Or...




"Soul Restoration"



...and many, many more.

Here is the link - and please be sure to type in this coupon code when you check out:

Freedom.

That's it.  Just type "freedom" in the coupon code box, and you will receive HALF OFF of every single one of my unframed prints.

{...framed prints are not included in the discount...I reserve the right to refund any framed print accidentally ordered at the discount price...)

I encourage you to stock up for gift giving later in the year.  Enjoy shopping my prints, and have a blessed, safe, and happy 4th!

Flashback Friday - a post from the archives about "Simple Joys"

I hope this little piece from my archives is a blessing to you today...enjoy...


 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~




If you, like me, have ever struggled with actually doing the little things each day that bring you joy, if you have ever wondered if you were being selfish...can I speak some love over your life?

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Taking joy...every day...will make you a better wife, mother, boss, employee, entrepreneur, preacher's wife, you-name-it.

All I will remind you, in your quest for deep joy and sustainable pleasure, is this:

" 'tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free. "

Keep your joys as simple as a wood fire; as satisfying as a glass of Merlot; as sustainable as making roasted rosemary chicken for you and your love for dinner. Keep your joys free from comparison and competition. Leave comparison and competition to the unimaginative souls who must utilize those mindsets to be motivated.

You and I? We are so rich in Christ. All things are ours, indeed. A bouquet of sunflowers is our gold, and the stars twinkling above on a winter's night-walk are our diamonds. Holding the hand of the man of our dreams, grown deliciously and delightfully mature, is the stuff of fanciful girl-talk.

Daily, our God loads us with benefits. Rarely do they strain our budgets. Souls of artists, down through time, have discovered the tiny treasures tucked into the travel-trunk of each new day....and have written or sculpted or painted about them.

Take joy. Simple joy.



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